My Digital Diary

February 15, 2008

Please suggest a title

Filed under: Fun, my views — Tags: — nitin @ 5:06 pm

Petrol Pump Ka scene.

Time:8:45pm
Place:Office.
I was busy with Pool table wid my colleagues.Surprisingly, got call from “Mallik Bhai” who informed me that Petrol prices are getting higher by 2 Rupees from 2morow.”Get your tank full” was his stern advice to me.Coincidently, my bike was also dry on petrol .But I was not in a mood to full my tank for saving Rs 2/litre.

I decided to get some fuel as anyway I had to dine outside.To my Surprise , anger and frustation, the Yerwada Petrol pump was crowded .I decided to go for SpeedPetrol which was available at KoregaonPetrolPump. The scene was much more vulgar outthere. They weren’t allowing biker’s to queue for petrol.Barricades of bamboo were laid to keep customer’s at bay.Out of two bunks , one was closed in the wee hrs i.e arnd 9. I understood the whole gameplan.The greed of the Bunk owner was shouting on all petrol thirst crowd.

In a nutshell..the Asshole’s who owns the Petrolbunk closed the shop arnd 9pm , so that all reserves could be sold tomorow morning at an additional profit of Rs 2/litre.
Rich bloodsuckers…

Words which needs to be added in the Oxford Dictionary.

Gajar (noun) : Ditch, false promises, taken for ride.
                           (usage: derogatory)

       Sentences : “My Project Manager gave me a gajar of  Canada Onsite .”
               Origin:Carrot called as( Gajar in Hindi) is used as a trap for catching rabbits.

Bamboo(noun) : Overworked, peer pressure of work, like balls on stove or
                                hammering of balls.
                               (usage: derogratory)
           Sentences :a) “I got a big bamboo yesterday“, he expects me to deliver the code 
                                 by this weekend.
                               b)How was the exam?”Bamboo lag gaya“.
                   Origin :Pain derived by inserting a  Bamboo Stick  in  one’s ass.

I keep hearing these words in the corridor , smoking zone and in lift lobby  and everywhere..It’s usage may be limited to the IT circle..
 Just for your info… I got Gajar and bamboo both   😉

There’s are several other words which were invented and used only in my group..like lasson , Pok , dhimpartipar , vatren , zhinga etc ..these words which seems meaningless are very much meaningful and they convey the right message beautifully..  😆

Valentine Day

Love was in the air..  In da offcie ppl were dressed RED & Pink. Entrance were decorated with red balloons. Some desk’s were wid flowers and other’s with cards.I don’t want to sound stereotypical by uttering this boring sentence” Every day is a valentnie day…wat’s so special 2day? one can celebrate it any time and day they want”.
But, I do believe that its just another day like other days.The question for me was if anyone was about to gift their dear ones something special,wud valentine day be the apt day to gift?
For me, I think anyother day will be a bigger surprise for the gal/boy.Just imagine, if we gift our parents,teachers on any random day..that would be lot more fun and exciting ,rather than being obedient and gifting only on the so called Teacher/Parent/Mother/Sister Days.

I don’t mean celebrating Diwali  in April and Christmas in August,as these festivals are something related to cosmic timings and close to religion. I will categorise all above mentioned days as Social Days (Parents,mother’s,father’s,valentine etc.)Social days can never be limited to  fixed day and timing for celebrations.Social Days are for someone very special and personal and therefore doesn’t need any predecided day for celebrations.

It’s for the people to decide how they weigh these days in their calendar’s.

“Yeh apan ka choice ka Mamla hain”.

February 9, 2008

Terrible moments

Filed under: Fun — Tags: — nitin @ 12:37 am
white women black kid

February 7, 2008

Misconceptions of Guys about Girls….

Filed under: Fun, India, jokes, my views — Tags: — nitin @ 1:57 pm

This stuff is a tribute to all single boys and gals who have been involved in the vicious circle of “Friendship”. One will get a better idea about gals and their behaviour to their male pals..(Its 100% truth – ISO20000 certified)

(Its from my archive mails…. )

Misconceptions:

Girls’ relationship with guys is a bigger mystery than girls themselves.It’s not just about boyfriends, we’re talking about guy friends that gals have.

Do you have a gal who is just a friend? Are confused why the frequency of calls increases as exams loom closer? Or why she always hangs around with the moron who isn’t fit to wear Jeetendra’s white shoes? Here’s a ready reckoner for you:

Just a friend

Well, you are like a show piece in my house. I will call you whenever I need you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times she might say, “Oh Rahul, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??”

Rahul: “Where are you going Shilpa??”

Shilpa: “None of your business” and bangs the phone.(Useless fellow.Hmmph!).

Good Friend

You are like a TV remote control. I need you and I know that. But I try using you when I really need you.

Rahul calls: “Hi Shilpa”,

Shilpa: “Hi Rahul. I am going out with family I will call you back. Bye”

(Shilpa calls back after two days)

Shilpa: “What do you want Rahul? Why did you call that day?”.

Rahul: “Generally”.

Shilpa: “Oh ok. I got to go out. Will call you later. Bye.”

Will call when she needs lecture notes or some concert tickets.

Very good friend

Well you are like the pressure cooker safety value for the girl.

She will need you when she wants to bring out her pain or anger on someone.

Basically, she wants to talk to you. And you are special to her.

Shilpa: “You know Rahul, Shekhar is not eating. He doesn’t sleep and is not able to concentrate on his studies. I think he doesn’t like me anymore.

And yesterday I saw him with another girl”.

Rahul: “Who is Shekhar??”

Shilpa : “My boyfriend.”

Rahul: Oh! ok. 😦

Best Friend

You are like the auto rickshaw driver. She can’t live without you.

And don’t be mistaken. You are not her boyfriend. But you are allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that he (not you!) can have fun .

Rahul Shopping. Rahul Movie. Rahul Coffee. Rahul,you pay. I am having fun.

Rahul is now sure that he should go ahead and propose. He dares.

Shilpa: “But I thought we were just friends.

We should remain friends

Rahul. Plus, I have a boy friend you know that.”

Rahul: What?? (Rahul drinks all night).

Best of the Bestest Friends

Ok now you are really special. You are

dad-cum-boyfriend-cum-brother-cum-everything.

Ultimately you are the darling servant of the girl. You take her around.You make her project.

You do her assignments. You are allowed to take her doggie around. You can hold hands on the beach.

You can see the sun set with her (because she wants to do everything she drags you along). But but but… don’t be mistaken. She has a boyfriend who works for a huge software company and earns 3 times the salary you earn and has a flat in PoesGardenor Boat Club or Hiranandani area.

Shilpa: “Hi Rahul. I am getting engaged to Shekhar.

Shekhar this is Rahul,he is my bestest friend”.

Rahul: Hi Shekhar . (Hand shake. Shekhar breaks Rahul’s wrist).

Rahul is now heart broken and wrist broken.

Boyfriend

Uh… No comments dude. You’re already Gone

For all Rahul type guys… Make sure that you tell Shilpa about Mamta. And about Maya… and about Tina also…

This will open Shilpa’s eyes!!!!

January 13, 2008

Trip to Alibaug , Kashid beach and Murud Zanjira

Its our traditional practice to spend 31st night in some far place from the hustling and bustling of the city.2007 was welcomed in the land of coconuts and fishes ..any guess?GOA a big NO.. Its was our beautiful  Coastal region of Konkan and we almost travelled 12-1300 kms round trip , upto Malvan,Sindhudurg and its virgin beaches.The beaches were quite clean and it was  worth spending a time there.Specially Vengrula Beach.
This time it was a spot pretty near to mumbai and it was Alibaug where we celebrated our New Year.
Lot’s of action and masti unrolled right from meeting up of the gang , start of the journey from Kalyan till we dropped to our home back.It was 2 nights and 3 days of fun , excitement , Dhammal Masti and 1000 volts josh .We only survived on small fish,big fish and only fish and only bottled water .Oh Fish!! 🙂

You may be wondering what we did in a small place like Alibaug.Well Alibaug really doesn’t have anything great either ,all it offers is some dirty beaches and strangely some good eating places.Varsoli beach was the only one decent enough  which was our first spot.Just 25 kms from Alibaug down south is Kashid Beach and another 50 kms you will find Murud Janzira beach and fort.
So we had a good plan of checking out all these places and we had ample time too in our hand.

Alibaug beach is really not the recommended beach .Its like our Juhu chowpathy ; Dirty .The water smells of chemicals and froth confirming of all those waste released from the Ispath Industries lining the western coast  of Alibaug,Uran and JNPT .
Kashid beach is relatively far more better but not quite up to mark.This beach has almost all the right ingredients offered by nature like white sand , large part of beach is dry and less polluted water .The  place can be a hotspot for tourist,but sadly and for me “disgustingly” the place lacks good restaurants, comfortable changing rooms and Cleanliness .I saw women climbing mountains for toilets and men easily doing spring water irrigation all over the place.We Indians are master’s in making a place filthy/dirty.This beach is a complete ignorance from the eyes of people who can sense potential tourism in the region,to be truthful no one cares for this beach , not even the locals and forget the government.All focus is on Goa it seems.

Murud Zanjira is another messy place, still a one time visit.Another blunder of ignorance for a place of such a historic importance and a potent tourism destination.If we Indians feels the place to be dirty , what wud be the kind of image in the minds of foreign tourist?
Worst part is no decent eating place nearby.Still the journey to the fort in the boat and the adventure of stepping out on the steps of the Gigantic Fort from the shaking boat is really exciting and dangerous.Its really slippery out there.
The Guide will utter the same crap like for other forts, if you have an  experience.Some dates, some names ….some hidden tunnels and finally some idiotic jokes,but still do make it a part of your package. 🙂

For anyone visting Alibaug  do visit a simple,decent restaurant named “Sukh sagar”,its near Alibaug ST depot.The food if not authentic KonKani , still satisfies your hunger with wide variety of sea foods.And don’t miss the drink named “soll Kadi”.Its like buttermilk ,but made with cocunut juice and some Kokam in it.Its as refreshing like a chilled beer.We liked it so much that when leaving for mumbai we parcelled 24 packets just for our return journey.

The 30th night was a night of friends who where high,drunk,in control and who got emotional, grave’s were dug out just to make the past pleasant and to fix all  the pending bugs.We sat in the cold ,rounded ,poking jokes ,belching smoke  .. blabbering , followed by discussion’s on past,broken hearts , opening the unsolved mysteries of friendship and betrayal,.allegations ..justifications, tears .. tears on smiles but  finally burying the hatchets.

Special moments were caught on mobiles ,recording’s of the converstation were made unknowingly by some moron.Hey you did a great job.  :-)The sight was captured digitally.Someday our brain may wither away the pleasant memories , but we have  harnessed the technology and frozen the golden moments in sound files ,digital pics and offcourse this blog which will remain close to the heart and which will make us nostalgic by remembering the good old days.

Next year the target is NorthIndia…and we are coming to rock it…yoyooyo

I booked the accomodation quite late without considering the RUSH and Demand during the year end.I called up 20 odd places from below list and finally got lucky in a place in varsoli.He charged 1500/- for 1 day.This price is tripled during 31st celebration time.The actual cost is 500 Bucks  during off season.The room was OK kind wid a TV.
Details taken from http://www.onesmartclick.com/

                         Alibag Hotels/Restaurants/Resorts

Name Phone Number Address
Hotel Anand Vihar 22281 Opp Post Office, Alibag
Hotel Darshan 38481 Vayshet
Hotel Fulora 23473 Near S.T.Stand,Alibag
Hotel black Park 38474/38481 Near R.C.F.Factory, Vayshet
Hotel Karishma 22409 Zilha Parishad Building, Alibag
Hotel Lilak 25011 Shreebag, Alibag
Hotel Patang NA Alibag-Revdanda road, Alibag
Hotel Sanman 22314 Israil Ali, Alibag
Hotel Saraswat 26838 Opp.R.C.F.Colony,Mumbai Road, Alibag
Hotel Tulsi 24686 Near S.T.Stand, Alibag
Hotel Tushar 23393 Nagdongari, Alibag
Hotel Vaibhav 24865 Vidya Nagar Revas Road, Alibag
Hotel Vanrai 38504 Near Kataget, Thal
Moghe Khanaval 22297 Near Alibag Nagarpalika, Alibag
Hotel Meera-Madhav 25279/25280/81/82 Opp.S.T.Stand, Alibag

Hotels/Resorts/Lodging/Boarding in   Alibag

Name Phone Number Address
Abhiruchi Lodge 25047 Chendhare, Alibag
Asara Lodge 22183 Maruti Naka, Alibag
Darya Sarang Holiday Home(Under M.T.D.C.’s Scheme) 22952 Ramnath, Alibag
Guruji Holiday Resort 22266/22285 Sea-Beach, Alibag
SunGlow Resort 21072/73/74 Sea-Beach, Alibag
Hotel Aamrai NA Court Road, Alibag
Hotel Big Splash 26803 to 08 Near Mahesh Talkies, Alibag
Hotel High-Way-View 24167 Pimpalbhat, Alibag
Hotel Meera Madhav 25280/81/82 Opp.Alibag S.T.Stand, Alibag
Hotel Nilima 22577 Chendhare, Alibag
Hotel Prajakta 22313 Near S.T.Stand, Alibag
Hotel Preetam NA Opp. R.C.F. Colony, Mumbai Road, Alibag
Hotel Ravikiran 22459/22460 Vidyanagar, Alibag
Hotel Ruchi-Tarang 22481/22650 Near Raigad Bazar,Alibag
Hotel Sea-View 22605/24062 Sea-Beach, Alibag
Panchwati Holiday Home 25009 Near Marathi School, Beach Road, Varsoli
Parnakuti 22724/26652 Varsoli, Alibag
Pushpak Lodge 22354/27100 Shreebag No.3, Alibag
Rajanigandha Holiday Home 22390/22697 Court Road, Alibag
Sagar Lodge 22520 Karve Road,Alibag
Shreyas Lodge 24320 Near Maruti Naka, Alibag
Swapnil Guest House 22184 Shreebag, Alibag
Upkar Lodge 22136/24756 Opp.Alibag Urban Bank, Alibag

Hotels/Resorts/Lodging at Revdanda

Name Phone Number Address
Prafulla Lodging 40096 Aagar Koat,Revdanda
Sea Star Lodging 40081 Aagar Koat,Revdanda
Shiv-Parvati Guest House 40202 Opp.S.R.T.High School, Revdanda
Uday Holiday Home 40146/40400 Agar Ali, Revdanda

Hotels/Resorts/Lodging at Nagaon

Name Phone Number Address
VirangulaSince last 10 Years, In the heart of Coconut and beetlenut trees, 2 attached rooms, 4 non-attached rooms, 1 Big Hall (can accomodate 50 people), Bamboo House, they serve delicious food. 952141-45050 , 952141-45530 Nikhil Oak, Nagaon
Sagar(Under M.T.D.C.’s Scheme) NA Nagaon
Yashaprada Holiday Home(Under M.T.D.C.’s Scheme) 45644 Nagaon

Hotels/Resorts/Lodging at Chorande

Name Phone Number Address
Hill-View Resort 45558 Palav Phata, Nagaon
Wind Mill 39191 Chorande

Hotels/Resorts/Lodging atChondhi/Kihim

Name Phone Number Address
Hotel Sai-Inn 38102 Chondhi
M.T.D.C.’s Holiday Home(Tent) 38253 Kihim
Sanidhya 32077, 32202 Kihim

December 13, 2007

Oye Ganpat Chal Daru la Rap Lyrics Remix version

 ShootOut At LokhandWala

 I never noticed the remix version of Ganpat Daru la..Its a grt compliation…and the lyrics are amazing wid a new touch of chicky..raunchy dialogues…I never believed that MIKA was behind this song and lyrics..

Dont miss this song…and better check out the lyrics..its awesomeee…especially the background score when dialogues are deilvered..

 DOWNLOAD THIS SONG

Welcome to Wadwani’s constructions…
Yourself name pls..
Mayaaaaaaa
Breaking news main…aaj maya Dolas gang ne wadwani builder to agva kar liya..
Maine meeta mattu mumbai se..
(Diya mirza..heheee..wat a name!!)

Phone ringing..

Hello Bua..Main phattu..
Bhai bola tapkane ka nahi..
yeee.. Bhai ko bol sankai khopdi ko samjhane ka nahi..sala

Phone ringing..yeh number waist hain…thodi der baad dial kare..
Ringing ..Hello Tupling ..main chikna..yeh RC kidar hai re..
aree uski maa ki sala
“Daru zidar RC udhar”..”Daru zidar RC udhar..”
Phone ringing..
hey maya dolas hai nam hain na tera..main saudh ,kya chata hai re?
Mumbaiiiiii….

In the Mumbaii, all over Indiahaa,
we are the bhaiiis, we are the bhaiiiis

In the Mumbaii, all over Indiahaa,
we are the bhaiiis, we are the bhaiiiis

Aye ganpat chal daroo laa,
aye ganpat chal daroo laa
Ice chala soda kam thoda pani mila,
ice chala soda kam thoda pani mila
Thoda table wable saaf karrr de na yaar,
thoda table wable saaf karrr de na yaar
Aye ganpatt, ganpat, Aye ganpatt ganpat, woooo

tring tring..

Hello Maya bhai main saudh bol raha hoon bhai..
salam alekum saudh bhai , kaise phone kiya?
Salam..Bhai..yeh chota sajan ke log muje bahut dhoond rahe hain..
main bahut paresan ho gayela bhai..mereko dhundte rehte hai bhai..bhai kuch karoo..bhai..kuch
Saudh bhai aap phone karo..main abhi chota sajan se baaat karta hoon ..apna chota bhai hai
aap jaisa bolenge waise ho jaega..khuda hafiz..
ringing again….

Hello chota Sajan , bhai main maya bol raha hoon, Namaskar..
are maya ji namaskar namsakar..kaise yaaad kiya?
Bas bhai aapse chota sa kaam tha..abhi phone aaya tha saudh bhai ka, pakistan se..

Dekho muje koi lafda nahi chaiye tum dono ganga ka india main..
jo bhi karna hain plsss desh ke bahar karo..
thik hain maya jo tu kehta hain waise he hoga..
NAMASKARRRR..

Bhai hoon mein, bhai, tu fikar na kar,
uski maa ki, uski bhen ki, jo dekhe idhar
apun ko bata de kabhi howe fantar,
sabki fattti apne naamse apun jaye jidhar
thoda coke shok to apun ke dost ko de na yaar,
thoda coke shok to apun ke dost ko de na yaar
Aye ganpatt, ganpat, aye ganpat CHAL, daroo laa..

ringing..
heeyey(Sharukh ‘s  Tuttering voice) maya bhai main farrook bol raha hooon farrook..
Ha bol farook bhai bol kya baat hain..(But its actually Vivek’s Stroy)

yeeehhh Kaish(Aishwarya) apne aap ko samajti kya hain?
shooting main muje Balwan(Salman Khan) ke phone aate hai..muje dukhi karta rehta hain..
Maya bhai ..pls thik karo usko..
Are farook..tu phone rakh yaar..Kaish apni muuuuaaahh bacchi hain..tu phone rakh main baat karta hoon..

ringing…again..

Helloji main Kaishwaryaji se baat kar sakta hoon?
who’s on the line?
Maya bol raha hoon..Maya ? who maya?(Karan Johar hehehe)
ayyee Pandu bhutiye..
Kaishwarya jiii Kaishwarya jiii apke liye kisi maya ji ka phone hain..
abhi aaya na sala line pe..salaaa nimbo…huhhelloo

Hellohuhhelloo maya..Hello kaish…this is the baap of hindi pop..
hiii mayaaa..how r u?
yayayaya baby yeh tera farook ke saath main kya lafda hain?nahi maya..
thik hain na baby..uski phati padti hai..yeyeyeyyeeee..sambhal na usko..
sambhal na usko..sambhal na apne bacche ko…i knw maya i knw..
Bye baby..love u..
bye maya love u…

Bipasha Mallika Priyanka ya ho Kaishvarya rai,
Jaye saali jaa ke jahan marzi maraye
yash chopra, subash ghai apni picture banaye
apun ko kya lena jaise taise paise kamaye
apun ko to chahiye din mein special chai
shaam ko daroo, raat ko ladki aurrr neend aa jaye.
Aye ganpatt, aye ganpat CHAL

ringing..

Maya !!dimag pe zyada zor mat dal..main DCP khan ..
bahut ho gaya tera game shame chal abhi band kar dukaan..
Do minute baat kiya to yeh mat samajna ki chod dunga main..
meri ganag main aaja khan full support dunga main..
Saale Bhadve ..2- 4 ko tapkake amitabh bacchan banta hain , chupppp
meri ek ek goli pe tera naam likha hain..

Tereko photo bheju apni …Chalega?
yehi nazar aaega last time tu jab marega..

Maya bhai zindabad..maya bhai zindabad..(chorus)

Congress samta party ya fir howe BJP
sabko sport(support) hoti only tere bhai kee
Koi sala faltoo bole to tapka dalta  mein
maar maar ke, maar maar ke, faaad dalata mein
Thoda murga-shurga murga-shurga de na yaar,
thoda murga-shurga murga-shurga de na yaar
Aye ganpatt, CHAL daroo laa,
aye ganpat, huh, challl darooo laa.

Comon comon and everybody,
comon comon and move your body,
comon comon and shake your body,
In the Mumbaii, all over Indiahaa,
we are the bhaiiis, we are the bhaiiiis

Comon comon and everybody,
comon comon and move your body,
comon comon and shake your body, yeahhh

In the Mumbaii, all over Indiahaa,
we are the bhaiiis, we are the bhaiiiis

Aye ganpatt, …. aye ganpat,….. aye ganpat
pannn ye ganpatt kaun hein…
 

November 15, 2007

Break Dance video

Filed under: Fun, Music — Tags: — nitin @ 4:47 am

 I loved the 2nd guy…he is superb… yo yo

November 4, 2007

Men Vs Women

Filed under: Fun, India — Tags: , , — nitin @ 8:04 pm

How to make the other sex happy….Indian way…

Women:

Women

Men:

Men

October 31, 2007

Interview with Inzy

Filed under: celebrities, Fun, India, jokes, sports — Tags: , , , , — nitin @ 10:46 am

 This one is an old joke….but just found in my archive mails and wanted to share this funny stuff out here. I saw one advertisment on MULUND Station (Mumbai) of an English Speaking Coaching classes. They had put a model looking fat,having beard and looking exactly like Inzamam.That was really funny…

Here goes an interview with Inzi after losing to India in one day match.

Rameez: So Inzy, disappointed with your performance today?

Inzy: Bismilla-e-rehman-e-rahim. Thank you allah.ya the indian batsman is play very good today. we is try very hard but is not win the game.

Rameez: Any words for Dhoni?

Inzy: Ya dhoni is play very well. He is hit his shot very hard in our gaps. In start, we is protect our gaps very well. the grass is also thick.. but dhoni is split our gaps with his bat.

Rameez: Another ordinary bowling performance?

Inzy: Ya our balls is loose. the bowler is went for many run. Asif is bowled well. Also, after some shots the ball is out of shape. umpire is not give another ball.. it is tough to play with one ball.

Rameez: Dropped catches.. did that prove costly?

Inzy: ya the ball is not stick to our hands. we is practice a lot sticking our bat in our hands.. but now we is more practice sticking balls in our hands.

Rameez: Any plans for the next match?

Inzy: ya India is on top but we is try to bounce on our back. Insha allah we is play better.

Rameez: All the best Inzy

Inzy: Thank is you

Our Indian Team and Pakistani Team both have faced such situations before.But they are improving now..

August 7, 2007

Buffalo Theory and Beer

Filed under: Fun, jokes — nitin @ 1:57 pm

This theory has really made by understanding of  “Thinking out of the Box” Concept..Someone has just dont that…

 Read it..and then you will know this by yourself…

Beer

July 10, 2007

Shadow Dancers amazing video !!!

Filed under: Fun, Miscellaneous — nitin @ 1:43 pm

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