My Digital Diary

October 31, 2007

Interview with Inzy

Filed under: celebrities, Fun, India, jokes, sports — Tags: , , , , — nitin @ 10:46 am

 This one is an old joke….but just found in my archive mails and wanted to share this funny stuff out here. I saw one advertisment on MULUND Station (Mumbai) of an English Speaking Coaching classes. They had put a model looking fat,having beard and looking exactly like Inzamam.That was really funny…

Here goes an interview with Inzi after losing to India in one day match.

Rameez: So Inzy, disappointed with your performance today?

Inzy: Bismilla-e-rehman-e-rahim. Thank you allah.ya the indian batsman is play very good today. we is try very hard but is not win the game.

Rameez: Any words for Dhoni?

Inzy: Ya dhoni is play very well. He is hit his shot very hard in our gaps. In start, we is protect our gaps very well. the grass is also thick.. but dhoni is split our gaps with his bat.

Rameez: Another ordinary bowling performance?

Inzy: Ya our balls is loose. the bowler is went for many run. Asif is bowled well. Also, after some shots the ball is out of shape. umpire is not give another ball.. it is tough to play with one ball.

Rameez: Dropped catches.. did that prove costly?

Inzy: ya the ball is not stick to our hands. we is practice a lot sticking our bat in our hands.. but now we is more practice sticking balls in our hands.

Rameez: Any plans for the next match?

Inzy: ya India is on top but we is try to bounce on our back. Insha allah we is play better.

Rameez: All the best Inzy

Inzy: Thank is you

Our Indian Team and Pakistani Team both have faced such situations before.But they are improving now..

October 26, 2007

Break up ke side effects ……..

Filed under: celebrities, India, movies, My Experience — Tags: , , , — nitin @ 4:08 pm

Aaj ghar pe kuch kaam Dhanda nahi tha…i saw some Eng movies..then took a brk…found PKSE CD lying in a dusted condition…wiped it carefully..and there it goes in my DVD ROM..(i had only 2nd part…1st part CD is broken in two symmetric pieces….)

I love this movie so much.For me ,its  the craziest and most special movie  ..its an ever green movie;more evergreen than Dev-Anand Saheb..no matter how many times I watch it..i still feels the freshness of the dialogues .. am not going to give a lecture/review…I only remember few  break up ke side effects..and wanna share wid you(they are so damn cool)…
And who say’s Mallika only has figure…I think she’s better than most of the Hindi heroines out there….fatka hai woh…!!!


Breakup Ke Side effect no.1
AApko bahut rona padega…ya jitna rooenge utna breakup se bahar aaenge..i knw hame rona nahi aata…but then..we have to listen to sad songs…

Breakup Ka Side effect no.2
Ex girlfriend ko bhulne ke liye bhaut sari shopping karni hogi..it really helps..maine 15 hazar ki ghadi lee hai aur 25 hazar ke speaker’s…Offcourse on installments..but i feel AWESOME!!!

Breakup Ka  Side effect no.3
Brkup ke baad aap har raat apne dosto ke saath ..ghumne, peene aur party karne jaaoge…as for me, Freedom!!!!…AM BACK

Breakup Ka Side effect no.4
AApko suddenyl doosri ladkiyo main zaada interest aane lagega..and why not ?Loha he Lohe ko kaata hain.. hehehe

Breakup Ka Side effect no.5
AApko sari anniversaries yaad rehti hai..
Rahul“AAj trish ka bday hain aur muje pehle baar yaad hain.”

I really like how the movie shapes with some short scenes revolving arnd the side effects.. whenever their’s a mention of CoFFee  in offcie..i dig out the scene from PKSE..and we have a good laugh…(Coffee with Baby Girl vol. 3)

Also my hatsoff to Nanu(Ranvir Sheorey) he was a total freak man…(the dance in the pub…”we are the robots”) I have such crazy friends..but to see someone on the screen like him….thats good cinema…he’s totally different from the typical comedians in Hindi movies..

All in all a must watch for those who must have missed this one..some ppl like me watch it the 9th time.widout getting bored.It gets more happening everytime…yaaaahhooo

Pyar Ke Side Effects’ is directed by Saket Chaudhary.Where is he?? we need him for more such flicks ….

October 24, 2007

Our Health conscious India (Beer Vs Country/IMFL liquor)

Filed under: India, IT Professionals, jokes, my views — Tags: , , — nitin @ 5:13 pm

 One joke…to start with..

Some usual phrases/dialogues which people mutter after they get drunk..

Are tuje to chad gayi..(you got high 2day)
“agar chadani nahi hoti to peeta he kyo?”

Aaj gaddi/bike main chalaunga..(2day i will ride the car/bike)
“tremendous confidence”

Tu mera sabse accha dost hain…(you are my best friend)
“Right time to show friendship”

Main kisi se nahi darta..(i dont fear anyone)
“Bold and Beautiful”

Aaj tuje meri baat sunni he padegi..(I will have the final word)
“Autocracy starts…”

coming back..i wanna share my thinking of how people,youngsters switch from Beers to Hard liquor.
An excise department circular of April 13 says that “the duty on mild beer has been increased to Rs 15 per bulk litre or 100 per cent of the manufacturing cost, whichever is higher. Previously, it was Rs 12 per bulk litre or 75 per cent of the manufacturing cost.

The Beer consumption in Maharashtra is about 160 lakh (12-bottle) cases with Mumbai accounting for 40 per cent of beer sales in the State.

As you may be knowing ,people drink to get High..It usually starts with a beer for a college going youth/Men. Initially 1 Bottle/Glass is enough to get him High..slowly his capacity increases.Now he needs 2 bottles and then finally he won’t budge even after having 2 bottles of beer.

Then his clever mind thinks, why am i wasting 300 rupees on 2 beer bottles which don’t give me the kick.Instead i will go for a hard liquor which can easily charge me up in just 2 pegs.Well a very practical solution for keeping the expenses short..considering Hard liquor is cheaply priced  than a Beer.So such tendency starts the journey of switching from  Beer to Country/IMFL liquor(Indian Manufactured Foreign Liquor).

Wat’s the government role in this whole transition of a Beer drinker to a Hard Drinker?

You may think, its a personal decision of the subject,but bro…all decisions are based on some enivironment/ surroundings..and government has the charge of this decision making factors and surroundings.

As per the  statistics ,Govn thinks beer is still the choice of the riches and the affluents..and therefore they are exhorbitantly charged.Youths,IT public, knowing the ill effects of hard drinks still prefer Beers ..by paying heavily.

Why are they pricing Beer so heavily even if their alcohol contents are marginal ? A hard drink instead has 80 % more alcohol.So health wise drinking beer is less harmful compared to Hard Drinks.

In western nations people prefer mild and soft beers,Lagers and therefore its cheap out there.Suppose the govn makes Liquor highly priced and beer cheap..then ppl will find beer more viable as a drinking option concerning health hazards of hard drinks.

Interestingly, Indian’s preferred strong beer, unlike their counterparts elsewhere, and it accounted for more than 70 per cent of the total volume in the country.Which means this 70 percent ppl will soon opt for hard drinks in the near future,as they are cheap and effective.So clearly ..its the government policy which is driving this stream by pricing such products just to make profits and keeping the health concerns of the state at stake.
 
I may not be updated but some states have taken this problem in to consideration and wine rates has been slashed.

So why not price Hard Liquor heavily and subsidise Beers.?

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October 23, 2007

How to avoid Bomb blast

Filed under: India, my views, Politics — Tags: , , , , — nitin @ 6:57 pm

Bombblast is such a common thing in India…These days, bomb blasts at Jammu- Kashmir has become a page 4 news.We are so used to it, i always feel…its a daily routine…nothing new..but whenever their is a bombblast in some inside city …news channels portray Police as not competent enough in tracking down the Bombers.

Arrrre..how can they find out so easily?Do they have a magic lamp?…The media should ask from where did the bombers got the weapons or explosives..?? thats the real question thats needs attention..If someone implants a bomb in a bag in a  crowded mumbai local how the fuck can any one can find the installer so easily..its so easy to plant a bomb in a city with so much chaos and so less survelliance cameras..

One cannot stop blast activity if RDX and Timer bombs finds its way in to the country and then inside the cities..The real problem is curbing the entry of such harmful explosives in to the country.
We saw how in 1993 blast, RDX was brought inside india from Raigad coastal area..Some corrupt NAVY and police officials had given a helping hand in this act.If we check our borders and our coast for entry of AK 56,RDX,gelatin and timer bombs..we can say that the chances of malice explosion will be less.

We never try to figure out the root cause of the problem.We rather try to find out the culprits..and then arrest someone..and speculate the hand of the terrorist organization behind the attack.What will that do ? we can finally punish or sentence the accussed,but does that stop future more blasts??

Its our luck that India is blessed with highly inaccessible mountain terrains in the north and coastal border towards the cape.But still, we are not able to protect our borders. Kargil,1971..enroachments during china war…also the state of  POK…all these results are evidence of India as a state which has recurringly failed to protect its borders.

Its our luck that the natural borders of mountains and water has helped us till date…otherwise there wud have been a small India swallowed by every other neighbouring nation now..

 We Still have illegal Bangladeshi immigrants entering India.Sab india  ko noch noch ke kha rahe hain…

Its high time now that we shud freeze our border to such as extent that  even a migrant bird shud find it difficult to sway her wings over Indian land.
All bomblast raw materials are brought from the neighbouring nations ..if we can’t control in checking them on borders..we can never avoid bomblasts,attack on innocent civilians.
I blame the Indian Army,Navy and also the city police for their inability to maintain a check for such stuffs,which they can certainly do…which is their main job..rather they are more interested in doing post-mortem of an attack ..in finding out who carried out the blast …which shud come secondary..as per my thinking.

One of my friend told why their is no blast in Bangalore? I think Bangalore police are working on checking such stuffs entering the city by keeping an eye on every check post,check nakas…every entry and exit of the city.(just my guess)..any way Bangalore will be a hot target..but still its untouched..

why can’t every state-police beef up secuirty on their city limits…if the army and coast guard are sleeping.(i knw am harsh)
Alarm should be ringing for all those who are still not doing their job seriously…
“wake up INDIA

October 22, 2007

Guilty Conscious

Filed under: celebrities, Eminem, Miscellaneous, Music, my views — Tags: , , , , — nitin @ 1:44 pm

YO YO…I like RAP music and am a fan of Eminem.

All you people out there thinking that Eminem only has bad words and cheap abuses ,violence in his songs,give a second thought, thats half truth.There are songs which talk about real people about his life and the way america is taking him.He is the one man army out there…to blow up whole america who bring disgrace to him.
His songs are too real…thats why i like RAP..or to be more precise only Eminem songs.Not bcos he is a White Rapper out there..but I really find difficult to understand the BLACK rappers..i like 50 cent thou..they slang heavily …

Whatever he says in his songs is so real & cool and thats the beauty of his songs..He can narrate a story ..incident or a tale or pull legs of stereotypist’s,hypocrist in his songs so easily and those are bang at target and to the point..i swearrr…

I recently heard his song GULITY CONSCIENCE. The song is about 3 characters who encounters Guilty Conscious in some terrible situations.Nice punch in music and cool videooooo…
Now the song is done by 2 great guns.

Eminem (Evil Think Tank of the character)
Dr DRE (Guilty conscious of the character)

(Dr DRE is the same guy who gave Eminem his first break in RAP…wanna hear Eminem’s part of story of his becoming RAPPER? Just listen to his “MockingBird” song)

I would like you to listen to this song and find the lyrics below..the Lyrics is so cool with right punch and humour.Dont misssss

LISTEN TO GULITY CONSCIENCE

or watch the video

“Guilty Conscience”
(feat. Dr. Dre)

[announcer]
Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old.
Fed up with life and the way things are going,
he decides to rob a liquor store.
(“I can’t take this no more, I can’t take it no more homes”)
But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart.
And suddenly, his conscience comes into play…
(“Shit is mine, I gotta do this.. gotta do this”)

[Dr. Dre]
Alright, stop! (Huh?)
Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store
and try to get money out the drawer
You better think of the consequence (But who are you?)
I’m your motherfuckin conscience

[Eminem]
That’s nonsense!
Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunt’s cribs
And borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs
Tell her you need a place to stay
You’ll be safe for days if you shave your legs with Renee’s razor blade

[Dr. Dre]
Yeah but if it all goes through like it’s supposed to
The whole neighborhood knows you and they’ll expose you
Think about it before you walk in the door first
Look at the store clerk, she’s older than George Burns

[Eminem]
Fuck that! Do that shit! Shoot that bitch!
Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that rich?
Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are you that bitch?
Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids?

[Dr. Dre]
Man, don’t do it, it’s not worth it to risk it! (You’re right!)
Not over this shit (Stop!) Drop the biscuit (I will!)
Don’t even listen to Slim yo, he’s bad for you
(You know what Dre? I don’t like your attitude..)

[sound of static]

(“It’s alright c’mon, just come in here for a minute”)
(“Mmm, I don’t know!”)
(“Look baby..”)
(“Damn!”)
(“Yo, it’s gonna be alright, right?”)
(“Well OK..”)

[announcer]
Meet Stan, twenty-one years old. (“Give me a kiss!”)
After meeting a young girl at a rave party,
things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom.
Once again, his conscience comes into play… (“Shit!”)

[Eminem]
Now listen to me, while you’re kissin her cheek
and smearin her lipstick, I slipped this in her drink
Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch’s earlobe..
(Yo! This girl’s only fifteen years old
You shouldn’t take advantage of her, that’s not fair)
Yo, look at her bush.. does it got hair? (Uh huh!)
Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare
Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there
(Man, ain’t you ever seen that one movie _Kids_?)
No, but I seen the porno with SunDoobiest!
(Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?)
Man fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail..

[sound of static]
[pickup idling, radio playing]

[announcer]
Meet Grady, a twenty-nine year old construction worker.
After coming home from a hard day’s work,
he walks in the door of his trailer park home
to find his wife in bed with another man.
(“WHAT THE FUCK?!?!”)
(“Grady!!”)

[Dr. Dre]
Alright calm down, relax, start breathin..

[Eminem]
Fuck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin
While you at work she’s with some dude tryin to get off?!
FUCK slittin her throat, CUT THIS BITCH’S HEAD OFF!!!

[Dr. Dre]
Wait! What if there’s an explanation for this shit?
(What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?!)
Alright Shady, maybe he’s right Grady
But think about the baby before you get all crazy

[Eminem]
Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her?
Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her?
That’s what I did, be smart, don’t be a retard
You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES??!

[Dr. Dre]
What’chu say? (What’s wrong? Didn’t think I’d remember?)
I’ma kill you motherfucker!

[Eminem]
Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper!
Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.?
Mr. AK comin’ straight outta Compton y’all better make way?
How in the fuck you gonna tell this man not to be violent?

[Dr. Dre]
Cause he don’t need to go the same route that I went
Been there, done that.. aw fuck it…
What am I sayin? Shoot em both Grady, where’s your gun at?

[gun fires, is cocked, and re-fired]
Having read the lyrics and heard songs…which part did u find most interesting and funny…
Well the last story about Grady is really touching  😉 with a funny note..Finally Grady kill’s them both bcos both his
conscious(Dr DRE) and eminem finalise on shooting his wife…

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