My Digital Diary

August 14, 2007

Gulf ka Deadlock

Filed under: India, My Experience — Tags: , , , — nitin @ 8:01 pm

Its being long since i am in hibernation.I am bugged up with lot of work here in Hyderabad.Still the place is cool and our guest house rocks even more than the city…Apart from my busy time in da office …the guest house is like a everyday visit to paradise.

Ii wanna talk something else…some short story ..a sad and inspiring yet painful and disturbing ,if we keep thinking about it…

It was the time when i was getting back to mumbai from Dubai.I was sitting next to a tall man.He was in his early 30’s..dark.quick witted ..and very extrovert.He involved me in his chat abt Dubai..the places in mumbai..his daily chores in Dubai and etc…

Luckily..he was born and brought up in Mulund(where i lived) but he moved from Mulund when he was 20.He had some grt stories abt the Mulund when i was not born…Initially ,I thought that the flight will be boring (AI) but then this lively man..made me feel as if time was flying like a rocket…

 Now comes his  side of the story.He was a tailor by profession.Here in India he used to make betwn 5 – 6K before his marriage.As we know the tailoring buisness is going down due to the retailing buzz and also bcos ppl are prefering readymade garments.This forced him to look for opportunites where he can make big…also his academics were not good enough to take up another job.As he was a southIndian, ..he had contacts in the Gulf. He was offered a decent job with a decent salary.He was not always obedient to his family members …was always been like a renegade .never afraid(he himself confessed at times)..‘main kabhi gharwalo ka nahi sunneka’

 He made the decision to fly to Dubai to make it big .Initially struggling for 2 week..finally he got a job in some garment procesing company.He got married before leaving for Dubai.Now here comes the big DEADLOCK.He was earning somewhere around 1ok INR in Dubai..Some years went by..he used to visit india every 6 months or 4 months..which was difficult to afford.Slowly his family of 4 was now transformed to 6.The childrens(wid admission to good schools) and growing family expenses(including parents) made him work even harder and an urge to earn even more than he could make up got deep inside his mind.

(I asked him how much can he earn in India at this point of time?)He hesitatingly said that at max 8K..and the family demanded 15K.Now the family was having a lifestyle affordable in15K…He could by no means cut it down to 8K. I got bit upset by  looking at my excitment to return home.He knew his stay won’t be permanent..He will have to fly back..To keep his family going.To get his kids educated in good schools.He was sacrificing all the moments and the time which he could have spent with his family..He was in a deadlock…If he comes to india permanently ..he can hardly support the family with  peanuts of 8K…and if he remains in Dubai..he will earn but at the cost of staying away from his family.

Why we need to make our life so complex.Who is to blame?
He could have returned frm dubai after making some money and shud have adjusted to that mearge income and settled in India.At least he could live his life with his family.

On the Otherhand…A person frustated by his shortcomings to earn and make big ,with a burden of family at home..some how gives up and tries to make most of the opportunity at hand…But at the cost of family.?

Even i cant say whether he was right in staying back in gulf…but then even in future if he wants to return ..he wont be earning more than wat he is getting in Dubai.So this will always prevent him to return back to india;Until he is free from his responsibilities, until his childrens start earning…until he is a free man…He is sacrificing his life in the 1BHK flat occupied by 8 people in Sharjah,only to keep his family happy without cutting down on their expenses and dreams…Can you imagine how difficult,painful it is to stay away from one’s family in a foreign land.Particularly when you want to return..but you got no other option..Each day is spent in finding out why i came here…did i deserve this life? Is it Worth of all the money?But then suddenly getting back to ground realities..forgetting the day as a bad dream…and then the sun rises again…same old routine…life goes on…

We keep on wanting more and then to fulfill it,we lose a lot …something very precious…something which we can’t get back…

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  1. This is my blog. Plz see some good photoa from India. There, you can see Taj Mahal.

    Comment by chamatkaribaba — August 15, 2007 @ 4:30 pm

  2. poor guy.. he is sacrificing for the sake of his family.. but his family is happy.. however we do get caught in vicious circles like these and just not able to get out of it…the words desire, wants , needs make us chase several things in life and really not know how to get out of it .. even worse we dont know if we want to get out of it bcos we actually cannot get out of it… sad parts of life..

    btw, welcome to hyderabad.. 🙂

    Comment by Siva — August 15, 2007 @ 6:19 pm

  3. Oh! When I started reading this at initial lines I thought it is going to change as I come down. Something like Dirubhai Ambani story, initially from a tailor to Dubai to Garment Factory and then super rich in Dubai. May be his story is still in the middle stage. Ya! man! problems and difficulties are always there, but he is working hard. There is a lot to learn from his story and your blog. This is the situation of most of the people who have tried to settle outside, even in US to some extent same case.

    Comment by Srini — August 16, 2007 @ 12:25 am

  4. There are lots of people like him who want to come back to their family but can’t come. Nitin, we have these stories in India also, where people who come to Delhi from the villages of UP and Bihar are stuck here and can’t go back because of financial problems.

    Comment by pr3rna — August 16, 2007 @ 1:35 pm

  5. @ siva

    thanks for the welcome….currently i m in secunderabad..hitech City…you correctly pointed out wants and desires is a vicious circle…


    🙂 sorry the story turned out to be a tragedy… but sometimes tragedy stirkes hard…and we just cant forget the scene…


    Yeah prerna..there’s lot of similiar story in india… the real purpose of the post was something else..As am away from my family now…i was missing them badly…and then i thought of that person who was sitting next to me on the flight…and then i thought that my pain were no big compared to his helplessness …so i just wanted to speak out what i felt abt him particularly ..rather than generalizing the issue ….

    thnks all for dropping by…

    Comment by nitin — August 16, 2007 @ 5:58 pm

  6. sad state of affairs. Its sad that one has to be away from their family indefenitely for financial reasons…once the family is used to certain comforts its very difficult to come out of it and the bread winner has to bend backwards to fulfil thier needs.
    we can only feel sorry for them.

    btw..Nitin…tell me how to make the font larger in this blcak screen 😦
    or promise me u’ll sponsor my glasses when I eventually need them .

    Comment by sree — August 25, 2007 @ 11:53 am

  7. Hey sree

    Ya we can feel sorry for them, but at the same time we can advise/alert those who are not so well informed abt such deadloacks which can occur in their life too…to take such decisions with full future plans..and considering the drawbacks of such offers in gulf/any other country..

    And i found 1 simple solution to your problem..

    Write your comment in a notepad/worddoc with your choice of the font ,and when its fully edited and ready for posting …CopyPaste the stuff in this BLACK comment window..

    wat say? 🙂

    Comment by nitin — August 25, 2007 @ 8:27 pm

  8. exactly what I did with my other comment 😉

    Comment by sree — August 27, 2007 @ 3:41 am

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