My Digital Diary

October 28, 2008

Media vs Media

Filed under: Miscellaneous — Tags: , , , , , — nitin @ 3:56 am

A vibrant media is a sign of a progressing democracy.It reflects the true picture of the state and helps people identify and relate with day to day problems and progress of the state.However, it’s a sad tale for Indian media which not only blows things out of proportion, but also acts as a catalyst for spreading wide spread hatred and disturbing the peace of the nation.

Sensitive issues are made “Masala episodes”. Too much and tooo many examples can be cited for this truth and allegation ūüôā . At times, I desire to cut throat of some of these reporter’s or hang or smother the 24*7 news channel Director’s to death for their cheap language and disgusting news .¬† My anger and frustration is well justified and it must be the same for many others.The latest fucking point which I will narrate is related to RAJ vs Rahul episode.

This is something observed for the first time where(for me at least) Indian media gets divided on language and region.The “North Indian channels” are portraying “Raj Thackeray” as the mother of all problems and raising questions over the encounter of the so called” Innocent terrorist”. Rahul, the guy who terrified the Mumbai BEST passenger’s with his lovely country made revolver is no more alive and
political parties are battling it out for his cause of death. They¬† are making aggravated comments and Bihar is getting heated up.The guy wanted to have a conversation with RAJ and therefore he hijacked the BEST bus and fired 3 rounds of bullet ,¬† which cannot be justified on any account.The police reaction can be justified and more information will be out when CID officials will try to peek their nose in other state matters¬† .Mr Nitish Kumar claims that he was not terrorist and he had a clean record.I ask “where was that fucking time to go to his history ? Should the Police have waited for someone to become his victim? and any man with a gun is not a saint. This act gives strong message and¬† lesson to all those who create law and order problems. RR Patil has backed the Mumbai Police and therefore, there is mounting tension betweens leaders from the north and west of India.

The Story from AAj TAK..( the most hated channel): They have flashed TV screens with details of Nitish Kumar, Lalu and Paswan’s converstation with the PM of India.Inummerable questions are raised over Mumbai police’s execution of Rahul. RR Patil¬† has responded to the north Indian ministers with a wacky reply.But this is not shown or heard for common public on these channels.

The Story from Marathi/Mumbai channels:(Sahara TV, Zee marathi):These channels are showing the story from the Mumbai police perspective.It’s focussing on how and why Mumbai Police carried out this operation.Some MNS activist were interviewed. MNS side of the story is told and the overall look and feel is exactly opposite to the one shown on channels like NDTV,Aaj Tak.

To conclude, these channels are biased and no one is trying to show both the sides of the coin.The exact nature of truth or the real picture is missing from both these channels.They are bind by their ideologies and pressure. However , I found that AAj TAK and NDTV are the giving the wrong picture and trying to run a parallel case for Rahul’s case.They are trying to prove his innocence and targeting the Mumbai police. If Media trials becomes the fashion and it does happens, then why the fuck we need court rooms and judiciary ? . It’s time for every citizen of India to analyze the news channels and don’t go by the flow of the hour.They all have hidden agenda and dirty politics behind every news read.Trying to view the news from every angle is the job left to us. For the common man , if the news is crude like “crude oil”¬† it may act as a catalyst for hatred and discomfort. “Distillation” of news is the need of the hour.

July 19, 2008

Back to the Gutter

Filed under: India — Tags: — nitin @ 9:27 pm

Here is my comeback.. the most awaited.. heeeh..

Place:HongKong
Time :12:07 pm

If you guys remember, When i left for India , i had a post named” Out of the Gutter”.. now this post can’t get a better title than this .. right?

Folks..
My time in Vancouver /canada was awesome.. I roamed a lot, seens a lot, heard a lot about this country. Am too much excited to be back to India, so this post won’t talk about my experiences in Canada.Detailed experiences may follow soon, depending on how badly things need to be mentioned.

I have been waiting here for more than 8 hrs @ airport, but its not a problem.Am relaxing @ the lounge arranged for me by my generous company.I can see flights taking off and landing in front of my eyeys. am not tired to see this takeoff/land cycle.. each time its a diffrerent fun to watch and get amused.The sheer power with which she takes off is worth a imaginaztion.

This Airport is special..It’s one of the largest airport’s , i heard so.. The sheer magnitude can be confirmed by the fact that i took a train inside the airport to reach @ my target terminal.

Bas, abhi India ke garage jaise airport pe aana baaki hain..

no nono wait nitin..

Before¬†I land to India, i will have to stop expecting things which will never happen.. Thats the only key.. otherwise frustation is bound to happen.More curses will be given to government , politicians and public if i keep on expecting thinghs to be like canada, which is not logically correct.. bu but.. having said that, is it impossible for us to have world class infrastructure.. dont we deserve it? cant we make it.. ?? We can, so why can’t we crib about it.. ?

Anyway.. lecture baazi band.. abhi Flight pakadta hoon..5 ghante main ek movie dekhunga..otherwise sleeping.. Toxic guys.. CM is coming to receive me… tum log bhi aa jao.. Get your only chance for getting famous.. aa jaoo.. byeee..

June 12, 2008

Language no bar

Filed under: My Experience — Tags: , , , , , — nitin @ 8:51 pm

Guys.. its been years am not blogging.. but yeah even now am not ready to be back..

am posting today my friend GADE’s ¬†experience of his interview for a MBA seat…

Here it goes as told by him in his own words..

Hey Folks !!
Actually have nothing to do,even the markets have become Volatile and am loosing interest in them too,so getting back to my old habit of writing and flooding ur Inbox.I know ur first reaction would be‚ÄĒwe don’t give a shit abt u,but Pls bear with these for few days.

Got a admit frm Symbiosis college- Bangalore,but i m not that keen on spending my hard earned money(7-8 lacs) on my MBA,so i m showing them the middle finger.Am going to write abt my GD Experience,now u will wonder whats there to write something abt a GD,u will surely come to know in a moment.

My centre was  MIT college,Kothrud ,Pune.
Firstly I would like to Thanks Anup for giving me free pick and drop facility everywhere in pune .
I entered the hall 15 minutes earlier,with no pen in my pocket,so i got to borrow a pen frm the supervisor who lectured me for almost 2minutes for being careless.and then he persisted that i return the pen as he has only one pen,i mean thats first dose of meeting a Punekar.i just felt that i got a miserable day ahead,and I was really happy that there was no girl in my batch,bcos if these girls start talking they wont  stop ,but my happiness was short lived at the last moment she entered and I said ALLAH ,Yeh Na-INsaafi Kyun .
Well ,we 8 ppl entered the GD room to face the panel of 3 oldies,i mean they were really old.the panel gave us 2 topics to choose from
1.Gr8 deeds r done by ordinary PPl
2.Mistakes r the stepping stone to success,but Repeating the same mistake is a crime.
I raised my hand for the first topic along with other¬† three and remaining¬† 4 were in favour¬† of the second one.but the girl convinced the guy sitting next to her and soon we were in minority.i say these boys fall prey to chikni chupdi talks of girls and get their fingers burnt,but still dont learn the lesson.so against my will,i have to discuss the second topic.i mean there’s not much content to talk.so i thought of speaking first.

I started the discussion ,with anexample of bicycle riding,how the child learns after falling and all that crap.no sooner i finished than the girl started talking,i just kept looking at her,Not that she Was Beautiful but she actually started talking in MARATHI—-“Chuka karoon manoos shikto,navin goshti shikayla miltat,aatmavishwas vadhto and some hi-fi Marathi words that only Pradeep can Understand.I looked at the panel,¬† instead of objecting they were enjoying wat she was saying.I Mean How caN U TALK in MARATHI In GD.???
I never heard that RAJ THACKERAY made GD compulsory in MARATHI.Following¬† her footsteps another guy started in HINDI.i can understand that we r discussing a idiot topic,but it doesn’t mean that we should discuss it in our MoTHER TONGUE.if thats the case I should have discussed in my VATREN¬† language,and i am damn sure that no body would have understood a single word.

It was a no language barrier discussion.putting that behind,i decided to move forward.one guy started talking abt corruption,politics and jaipur bomb blast,i mean howz that topic¬† by any means related to MISTAKES.On top of that i cant get over my habit of pulling peoples leg even if its a professional environment.i just raised my hand and said “HEY GRP,we R Straying away Frm our Topic and This is a MISTAKE,so lets stick to our topic of discussion and never repeat the MISTAKE¬† again”.after this even the panel started laughing.

I mean the girl was sure an Raj Thackeray fan she was just playing with words,now she makes an entry again and discusses the same point again but this time she uses Self Confidence instead of ATMAVISHWAS and Emotional Disturbance  instead of Mansik Santulan.now thats really SMART u put the same point again one time in MARATHI and second time in ENGLISH.Thats Typical  SMART  PUNERI GIRL.

Now this is really FUNNY,one guy spoke very little,so the panel¬† asked him to put forth his point of view so he starts——“NOT¬† ONLY¬† HUMAN¬† BEINGs¬† MAKE¬† Mistakes But¬† Politicians¬† Also Make Mistakes “—LOL–I am not going to comment on this,just laugh.
After this the panel asked everyone to conclude and said FO !!
My Interview went OK,the panel  asked me on college life, MY Girl friend,sports,and Why i want to do MBA ?
This is the most hilarious discussion i had, i just wanted it to share this with u all so u could also have ur share of laughter.

 

April 2, 2008

Hyderabadi Bakra and The Angrez

Filed under: Miscellaneous — Tags: — nitin @ 10:06 am

Arre aap log kidar the itne din.. how can i miss you guys.. you guys are awesome and i have no words to describe you all.. simply fabulous.How sick of me to miss you for such a long time.Salim tussi cha gaye ho… tere jaise tapori main dekhe hain..but, tu to unka bhi baap nikla.Am talking about ajju, mujju , saleem, Nawab saheb who are actors from the hyderabadi small budgets films named “The angrez” and “Hyderabadi Bakra”.

Angrez

One of my Hyderabadi friend(chellapalli) told me about these movies and i was imatient to watch it.I desperately downloaded both the movies through TORRENTS within no time.As soon as the movie started, I knew that its really my kinda movie..wid Some taporigiri,some silly cracks,the usual braggers of the moholla,the pan ki tapri,dhaachegiri and the usual chores of any average mumbaikar or hyderabad.The typical Hyderabadi Slang..is at par to our mumbai slang…This movie is unlike other “C” grade flicks..The entertainment is 100% guranteeed only if you can understand or rather try to understand Hyderabadi slang.The hyderabadi slang itself is so comic that jokes are not needed.The dialogue delivery with tones of karech..jaaarech..nakko.. sounds so much original and spicy.

“The angrez” is the best one, but Hyderabadi bakra is also funnier and awesome.I won’t like to narrate the story here or throw a review.All you gotta do is, if you trust my taste of movies and really like some crazy stuff then grab a DVD/CD or become a pirate like me and download these movies via torrents for free.Both these movies are worth a watch for the surprised package and fresh performances…

I never expected such kind of acting from the fellow new comers that too in a low budget film.However , 2 NRI’s from “The angrez” movie were pathetic in acting..they overacted at times…but,apart from them,no one will dissapoint you. much.so be it the “NANA” or the maid or the naukar of NRI’s..every single actor has played a crucial role and contributed to the film.Selected actors like salim in “Angrez” and ajju in “Hyderabadi bakra acted effortlessly..I really donno their real names..but these new guys are rocking..The side hero in “Hyderabadi bakra” is indeed talented and also our bakra”the nawab” who’s famous dialogues”Pachiss saala se main charminar main baitha hoon” and “maa ki kirkiri” are hilarious is also fantastic.

Dhimpartipar gang.. ek baar yeh movie dekhlo..”Keechad main bhi Kamal khilte hain”.

Rating is a must:

The Angrez             ****

Hyderabadi Bakra  ***

March 23, 2008

Vilayati HOLI

Time:11.55 pm
Place:3951,Albert Street(my apartment)

Am back.Am exhausted,tired and my voice is choked.Reason?Undergone Holi celebration in Vancouver.
Yes , you heard me right.Some bunch of NRI’s had organized Holi festival for the desi’s here.We grabbed our ticket for 15$ to be at this event,totally confused about the outcome but still breathing air of excitement.The gang was big and i was luck that some Keeda public made it to this event.(ya bombay ka public tha ūüėČ ).We reached as usual late and witnessed a group of ppl listening to Karan-johar’s song and celebrating holi with pinch of colors and less matka jhatka.Some foreigner’s were enjoying more than the indians.

We tried insurging in to the group, but realised very soon that this isn’t the public which matches our frequency and energy.
Then,we started our own version of holi celebration.Yeaaa.. we hollered songs of Amitabh ..asked the DJ to play RANG BARSE.. we almost caught the attention of the whole crowd.. They must me wondering where the hell this guys suddenly popped from? We continued our Dhammal masti and playing with colors.All kind of dances were on display start from karate dance,disablility moves,hiphop to ganpati,nashik dhol dance.I was getting under the impression that we are making too much noise.But then one of the organizer came to us and said “you guys made this event lively.. Keep going”..and then we never stopped.
The 2nd surprise was the cultural event that followed “Dhuliwandan”.The hall was red with white siffon tables and wine glasses neatly placed in symmetric order.It was a perfect replica of the OSCAR’s. I was really amazed by the whole grandeur setup and the royal treatment.The ambience,tables decorated with flowers and white table cloth,red carpet, big screens and awesome waitress were like a dream.The excitment overflowed.The show was OK kind, but we were very busy with our own fun and masti.Neverthless, We clapped for every performance ..we danced with the participant’s , we sang Holi songs.The public was “UDAS” (boring).They were silent like dead bodies lacking any energy and too lazy to even clap for the performers.The behaviour seemed¬† like they came for a science Exhibition.The anchor tried hard to wake the public,but the public was more interested in snacks, and their own gossip.But we were unstoppable,at times we controlled ourself from hyperexcitment and overshadowing.

The dinner was also awesome.Again the dance floor opened up.This time some few guys from the crowd joined us.One thing I noticed was that the younger crowd (indian’s) were not at all significant in this whole picture.I cud see aunties and supermakeUP loaded witches/bitches,bald mens and hyper noisy kids.There was no trace of humans @age of 20-25.It was the same case in a hindu temple where ppl gather every sunday and food is served for all.Where are this younger generations?
They must be busy doping and visiting night pubs.Canada is a doper’s paradise.All stuff are available openly without any restrictions.The government allows LSD Booth’s and weeds¬† for teens.Its a free country afterall.

Many times during late office hrs, I had came across Drunkards and Doper’s in bus and on roads.Heard that every kid in high school gets a dose of these stuffs either by choice or by pressure.This is the only problem with this unchecked freedom in canada.
Here, you get pinched by police if u r caught wid weeds.Officer’s can’t dare to slap you.You must have a lawyer beside you and then you are king,everyone has one.I¬†accumulated these gyan from a local office friend.Still eager to knw more about this place and ppl and their problems.

Let me cut this post short, after all am writing after a long brkk.No overdose.The day was full of fun,masti,dancing and hallagulla.Never expected such kind of HOLI in a foreign LAND.

February 27, 2008

Out of the gutter..

Filed under: Miscellaneous — nitin @ 11:51 am

Guys..

I have been not active on my blog.The reason¬†was my travel to Vancouver.Am¬†just 2 days old here, but seems like this place is my dream place..Am a guy who’s crazy about beautiful roads,solid infrastructure ,green lawns and small bungalows along the wide clean road, huge cars, huge TRUCKs and huge humans ūüôā .Just look at them.. we wont even fit till their chest.

Let me check out some places in the coming weekend ..only then i can comment about the other places.waise i just love the chilling climate here..the weather has changed bcos of me.the day I landed here , it was a bright sunny day and seemed like heaven on earth.

Spring will start soon.This is considered to be the best time in canada.Couldn’t ask more more right?

 So finally ,I managed to eat the Gajar, but bamboo is still there in my asss.

And pls don’t mind the title … all my jingoistic indian die hard fans… The gutter was¬†the¬†lifestyle in India…India to Ek Mahan desh Hain.

February 15, 2008

Please suggest a title

Filed under: Fun, my views — Tags: — nitin @ 5:06 pm

Petrol Pump Ka scene.

Time:8:45pm
Place:Office.
I was busy with Pool table wid my colleagues.Surprisingly, got call from¬†“Mallik Bhai” who informed me that Petrol prices are getting higher by 2 Rupees from 2morow.”Get your tank full” was his stern advice to me.Coincidently, my bike was also dry on petrol .But I was not in a mood to full my tank for saving Rs 2/litre.

I decided to get some fuel as anyway¬†I had to dine outside.To my Surprise , anger and frustation, the Yerwada Petrol pump was crowded .I decided to go for SpeedPetrol which was available at KoregaonPetrolPump. The scene was much more vulgar outthere. They weren’t allowing biker’s to queue for petrol.Barricades of bamboo were laid to¬†keep customer’s at bay.Out of two bunks , one was closed in the wee hrs i.e arnd 9. I understood the whole gameplan.The greed of the Bunk owner was shouting on all petrol thirst crowd.

In a nutshell..the Asshole’s who owns the Petrolbunk closed the shop arnd 9pm¬†, so that all reserves could be sold¬†tomorow morning at an additional profit of Rs 2/litre.
Rich bloodsuckers…

Words which needs to be added in the Oxford Dictionary.

Gajar (noun) : Ditch, false promises, taken for ride.
                           (usage: derogatory)

¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† Sentences¬†: “My Project Manager gave me a gajar of¬† Canada Onsite .”
               Origin:Carrot called as( Gajar in Hindi) is used as a trap for catching rabbits.

Bamboo(noun) : Overworked, peer pressure of work, like balls on stove or
                                hammering of balls.
                               (usage: derogratory)
¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†Sentences :a) “I got a big bamboo yesterday“, he expects me to deliver the code¬†
                                 by this weekend.
¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† b)How was the exam?”Bamboo lag gaya“.
¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† Origin :Pain derived by¬†inserting a¬†¬†Bamboo¬†Stick¬† in¬†¬†one’s ass.

I keep hearing these words in the corridor , smoking zone and in lift lobby ¬†and everywhere..It’s usage may be limited to the IT circle..
¬†Just for your info… I got¬†Gajar and bamboo both¬†¬† ūüėČ

There’s are several other words which were invented and used only in my group..like lasson , Pok , dhimpartipar , vatren , zhinga¬†etc ..these words which seems meaningless are very much meaningful and they convey the right message beautifully..¬† ūüėÜ

Valentine Day

Love¬†was in the air..¬† In da offcie ppl were dressed RED & Pink. Entrance were decorated with red¬†balloons. Some desk’s were wid flowers and other’s with cards.I don’t want to sound stereotypical by uttering this boring sentence” Every day is a valentnie day…wat’s so special 2day? one can celebrate it any time and day they want”.
But, I do believe that its just another day like other days.The question for me was if anyone was about to gift their dear ones something special,wud valentine day be the apt day to gift?
For me, I think anyother day will be a bigger surprise for the gal/boy.Just imagine, if we gift our parents,teachers on any random day..that would be lot more fun and exciting ,rather than being obedient and gifting only on the so called Teacher/Parent/Mother/Sister Days.

I don’t mean celebrating Diwali¬† in April and¬†Christmas in August,as these festivals are something related to cosmic timings and close to religion. I will categorise all above mentioned days as Social Days (Parents,mother’s,father’s,valentine etc.)Social days can never¬†be limited to ¬†fixed day and timing for celebrations.Social Days are for someone very special and personal and therefore doesn’t need any predecided day for celebrations.

It’s for the people to decide how¬†they¬†weigh these days in their calendar’s.

“Yeh apan ka choice ka Mamla hain”.

February 9, 2008

Terrible moments

Filed under: Fun — Tags: — nitin @ 12:37 am
white women black kid

February 7, 2008

Misconceptions of Guys about Girls….

Filed under: Fun, India, jokes, my views — Tags: — nitin @ 1:57 pm

This stuff is a tribute to all single boys and gals who have been involved in the vicious circle of “Friendship”. One will get a better idea about gals and their behaviour to their male pals..(Its 100% truth – ISO20000 certified)

(Its from my archive mails…. )

Misconceptions:

Girls’ relationship with guys is a bigger mystery than girls themselves.It’s not just about boyfriends, we’re talking about guy friends that gals have.

Do you have a gal who is just a friend? Are confused why the frequency of calls increases as exams loom closer? Or why she always hangs around with the moron who isn’t fit to wear Jeetendra’s white shoes? Here’s a ready reckoner for you:

Just a friend

Well, you are like a show piece in my house. I will call you whenever I need you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times she might say, “Oh Rahul, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??”

Rahul: “Where are you going Shilpa??”

Shilpa: “None of your business” and bangs the phone.(Useless fellow.Hmmph!).

Good Friend

You are like a TV remote control. I need you and I know that. But I try using you when I really need you.

Rahul calls: “Hi Shilpa”,

Shilpa: “Hi Rahul. I am going out with family I will call you back. Bye”

(Shilpa calls back after two days)

Shilpa: “What do you want Rahul? Why did you call that day?”.

Rahul: “Generally”.

Shilpa: “Oh ok. I got to go out. Will call you later. Bye.”

Will call when she needs lecture notes or some concert tickets.

Very good friend

Well you are like the pressure cooker safety value for the girl.

She will need you when she wants to bring out her pain or anger on someone.

Basically, she wants to talk to you. And you are special to her.

Shilpa: “You know Rahul, Shekhar is not eating. He doesn’t sleep and is not able to concentrate on his studies. I think he doesn’t like me anymore.

And yesterday I saw him with another girl”.

Rahul: “Who is Shekhar??”

Shilpa : “My boyfriend.”

Rahul: Oh! ok. ūüė¶

Best Friend

You are like the auto rickshaw driver. She can’t live without you.

And don’t be mistaken. You are not her boyfriend. But you are allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that he (not you!) can have fun .

Rahul Shopping. Rahul Movie. Rahul Coffee. Rahul,you pay. I am having fun.

Rahul is now sure that he should go ahead and propose. He dares.

Shilpa: “But I thought we were just friends.

We should remain friends

Rahul. Plus, I have a boy friend you know that.”

Rahul: What?? (Rahul drinks all night).

Best of the Bestest Friends

Ok now you are really special. You are

dad-cum-boyfriend-cum-brother-cum-everything.

Ultimately you are the darling servant of the girl. You take her around.You make her project.

You do her assignments. You are allowed to take her doggie around. You can hold hands on the beach.

You can see the sun set with her (because she wants to do everything she drags you along). But but but… don’t be mistaken. She has a boyfriend who works for a huge software company and earns 3 times the salary you earn and has a flat in PoesGardenor Boat Club or Hiranandani area.

Shilpa: “Hi Rahul. I am getting engaged to Shekhar.

Shekhar this is Rahul,he is my bestest friend”.

Rahul: Hi Shekhar . (Hand shake. Shekhar breaks Rahul’s wrist).

Rahul is now heart broken and wrist broken.

Boyfriend

Uh… No comments dude. You’re already Gone

For all Rahul type guys… Make sure that you tell Shilpa about Mamta. And about Maya… and about Tina also…

This will open Shilpa’s eyes!!!!

January 28, 2008

Hope John likes it ;-)

¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† My dear laad friend will be going to UK for onsiteWork.A noble thought germinated in the compost.The idea was to gift his Ko-league ūüėČ who was a JOHN .Would that reciprocate in a Client appreciation mail?Well as i said , the thought was noble , so just stop such vile beliefs grow in ya mind ūüĎŅ .
But the choice was difficult.There was no clue about his habits , hobby and taste.The two were like configured machines who seldom veered to topics other than Deployment related issues,PDF generation and greece language support. We planned to pick the gift from MG road pune.It has 2 Jaipuri shops with some traditional stuffs.

Now the search for the right gift started…lets wind it up fast.
(pointing to a flower vase)
Me :Yeh wala Sahi hain.
She : “Utna nahi”… uska color utna kuch¬†nahi hain.

Me :He will like this ASH Tray ,Suttebaaj hoga.
She :I don’t know if he smokes.
Me :What the hell.??.Being a John and that too in software..am sure he smokes. 8) (No changes)

.
.
.
.(lots of Deep Thinking from both side)
.

Alladin ka chirag?

Me :Now this is something pretty cool.Wat ya say?
Shopkeeper :Sir , its the best we have.
She :Ismain ek size bade hain?No-No a bit smaller than that…. Something in betwn these two.?
Shopkeeper :Madam, iske beech wala to nahi hain.
She : They don’t have proper sizes.
Me: Kya yaar ūüė¶ … aap ke paas correct sizes nahi hain, nahi to yeh wala uthane wale the..

We moved to next shop which is in the same lane and owned by the same owner(which was realised later).The Sales man was a hyper active middle aged man , I loved his service.
We saw a couple of John’s wandering for some antique in the same shop.An ūüí° popped in my mind (why not catch these whites..they may help in selecting the best choice).

Me :Hello sir…..(and our story .blah blah…..)
John :” Am not English..”(So wat? you are white) ..”Germans have a different taste.Is he he/she?”(he).

After a long thought and explanation…He suggested that anything which has good handwork and sophisticated design and carvings will amaze any John.
Again the search started with new Keywords.This time it was rigorous with more details to be noted resulting in easy rejection and filterations.My choice didn’t materialise as we were from 2 different planets.(Mars &Venus).The hyperactive salesman who was earlier busy wid other customers saw us confused and rushed for our help.

He started bragging about his experience in this business,Wat John likes,picks etc…pointing to every object on display and making amazing facial experiences to show the intricate details of the work.We thought he would solve our problem but finally it ended up in more confusion.20 + items where spread before us like a buffet dinner but each item was only 80% appealling.I was wondering where to bring that 20% from or rather 30%¬†for her?
With lots of Dhaachegiri ..the plan was to see some other shop ‚ě° .But it was too late and this task was supposed to be finished before EOD.Plan changed.We moved back to the earlier shop.This is called how you retain a customer.

At the sight of we entering the shop again, the sales man with more energy than before showed us what he was hiding from us earlier.He opened the fresh stocks.Yeah.And there we found something,something she was looking for.

We settled for this Elephant carved from a single piece of wood with her/his siblings.The attraction was the perfect shape and balance of the Piece.It was big enough and not tiny either and not much bulky .I instantly realized from her expression that She found her missing 30% ūüôā in this one.Celebrations,joys and excitement ruled my mind.(earlier i was pissed off,tired and after looking at so many items I felt like anything is good option. ūüė° ).

Indian Elephant

But dear readers..if you still reading this shit..then hold on.The one thing we indians never forget is bargaining.Other’s were trying it too.
So with all my strength I started the bargaining show.

Shopkeeper: Sir 20% is off.

Me:Common yaar.. I am always ready to pay reasonable amount.Please make it 25%.
She:But we are taking 2 pieces…(Murmuring to me and kicking my leg to settle for much more discount.)
Shopkeeper :Sir..its all i can offer..you go to any shop and ask.
Me :I know you own all shops here..so prices will be same (¬† ūüėÜ )
Shopkeeper : smiling.. “Sir , aap bhi kya mazak karte hain..”

Ok ok…ha ha thik hain thik hain..yes yes…bas kya …No Noo..chalna.. chod yaar..lelo yaar ..smiles..

Finally HandShake.. ūüėÄ

The deal was over.
Rs 2700 for 2 pieces of our Elephant.Everyone was contended and happy about the deal.I hope John likes the stuff too.He will surely, because if you give any gift with all the right feelings , it will be acceptable to every wise human being.So why you think am telling you this experience..??
Need to say more ūüėõ ?

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